hi there...
its been a while now hahaa...

i simply got bored writing...
it not that im lazy...

its because i already write some note...
but it scatter around in different file...

its really annoying to sort them all
and convert that note into post in this web...

after it grow into large and larger...
i suddenly stop taking notes...
hopefully i can sort them later...

another big event is obsidian
i use obsidian for a few weeks...
its great but i dont think i want to use it...
that is also the main problem with scatter file i mention earlier...
when im using obsidian it really easy to lose track for what notes im working on...
their design is really easy to just create a new file then link the other file...
or in my case... just simply create a new file and forgot the previous file...
it happened all the time...
and now im in the middle of cleaning mess the past me left behind...

let see another big event...
i guess the time when i got new full time job...
i already create some note in that scatter file earlier...
so im not gonna say much about it here...
the main things is i simply got a full time job...
that also causing me to lost all my free time lol...
i also decided to stop drawing just because i didnt have enough time...

there is also this AI drawing things...
i dont speak or discuss this topics...
but i still use it on my daily use...
i know this is a really dangerous things to say on the internet right now...
the way i approach this AI is simply not saying anything...
i dont speak how good/bad AI can be...
or even my opinion about it...

when i want to post art generated by AI
i simply say "image generated by AI" no more no less...
i just play safe by not saying anything unnecessary...

oh right almoost forgot...
the main domain www.melody.my.id also died...
its been running on that shitty web host provider...
i just waiting for my subscription to end...
but the mirror http://melodies.neocities.org still up and accessible...
im also grateful you guys still come here and left message in the chatbox...
that really made me happy... but also feel guilty for abandoning this website for soo longg...

so what now...??

im still gonna need to fulfill my todo list for this website...
there is still lots of things todo...

hopefully i finish my website...
so i can focus on writing diary only...

im tired bruh...
here there are lots of new people coming...
they are new 3 trainee...

im usually work on iron roller thingy...
the new commer take that job...
since its kinda the begginer things todo...
but im also a beginner...

i left with nothing...
well not nothing...
but i just dont know what todo...

i cant fold the linen...
they never told me how...
i just do what the other senior worker do...
by observing....
it always endup messy...

not only that..
there is a lot of linen type...
most of the time its really similar in size...
but have a different way to fold...
i really have a hard time to tell the difference...

also that time...
when i was working on the other iron roller
im ironing the pillow case this time...
im not sure if i need to do just ironing or also do the folding....
usually there is another person on the rear to do the folding...
but everyone is busy doing other things

if i just do the ironing then it will stack really high on the other side...
so tried to do both....
honestly i dont even know the proper way to fold these pillow case....
again... im just doing what i see...
hopefully its right...
i fold like 40ish pillow case then go back to the front to do more ironing....
this time i tried to be clever...
to use multiple line so it doesnt stack really high on the rear...
turns out this was way more slower than working on 2 lines...
even the higher-up senior told me i was slow..

the way my senior talking is kinda hint me i was too slow...
i hate this kind of talking...
just be straight with me pls...
say if i was to slow... tell me what to do...
dont just use wierd code like that...
im bad at reading ppl

im giving my best here...
i tried really hard to do things fast...
focusing all my brain power to do thing fast...

i cant make a conversation
its really hard to respond to conversation while keeping this speed...

yooo...
its been a while right haha...
ive been throught a lot this past 2 month...

ahh nothing it just another me being depressed again...
gosh i dont know why this year is the worst for me...

anyway i got a new job now...
its a full time 8 hours job...
that means i didnt have much free time like usual...

i want to talk about this job...
i already 2 weeks in there...

its kinda weird...
i somehow got a job in a hotel laundry...
i didnt have any hotel background...
i just simply submit my cv... back in august...
and know i got a reply... i got the job...

like other job... there is an interview...
for some reason there is 2 interview that i need to attend...
the first one is with HR which is like a usual interview...
but the second... ohh boiii...
i need to face with the GM... the GM speak English... like bruhh....
i mean yeah... i know english... but i cant speak it that well...
like you can look at this website how bad i am at english lol...
i tried my best to answer any question...
and thankfully i got the job...

the job is kinda hard...
the place is bit hot... but i can manage it since im live in tropical season
the linen itself is also really hot...
especially the one that just come out from big dryer...
its really hot... it burns my finger a few times...

at the first day...
i confused by what to do...
i really have a hard time to difference linen type...

most of the time i got assigned to the ironing section...
we use the big rolling ironing machine...
it require 2 people to use it...

it is quite hard job...
but the payment are really good too...
lets see if i can survive here...

you know what...
when i was a kid...
i had this silly dream i want to achieve...

after i grow up...
i realized how hard it is to achieve that dream...
so i gave up...

long time has passed since then...
im now scrolling on my old folder

a folder where i save all my silly little dream...
its kinda nostalgic...

i dont know... looking at those old files
my heart tell me to give it another chance...

but im still not sure...
i maybe just end up wasting lot of time again...

haha...

i dont know what wrong with me...
i always run from anything...
even my own dream...

i dont know...
lately...
ive been trying to get out from my comfort zone....

and just like that never again meme...

i guess im failed...
never again...
im tired...

i dont know anymore...
where i should get help...
someone pls... help me...
im completly lost...

i dont know anymore...

...

this morning...
i just didnt want to think about it anymore...

act like nothing happend...
do nothing...
i dont know...

how long i can survive like this...
i might going insane...
who knows...

i found this (https://handmadehero.org/)[https://handmadehero.org/] ...
i was thinking to watch this series a long time ago....

but my C++ skill arent that great at that time...

ive been using c++ for most of the time now...
i really love it...and i understand how C works now...

and now i guess its time to start watching the series...
i been watching the first 5 intro videos...
im surprised i can follow along...

its mean maybe i can also follow the main series which ill be doing after wrting this diary

ive been using windows again for programming...
usually i used linux for programming
and windows for drawing...

its kinda annoying when i need to do both
so i tried to using windows to programming...

installing build tools in windows is kinda tricky...
because there are lots of option...
there is a mysy2, cygwin, or just plain mingw64...
ofc clang llvm too...
ohh right there you can also use wsl too...

using standalone mingw is my goto option...
because its simple and i didint need seperate console
like those mysy and cygwin nonsense...

i also install clang llvm because i need clangd...
for some reason clangd on windows really wierd...

you see... in linux its easy...
you just install build essentials and clangd... done...
they work as intended...

but not in windows...
here... this mf clangd...
refused to use mingw standar header...

like i dont even know anymore...
i tried everything... nothing works...
i look all over the internet for solution
nothing works....

it just stupid...
"cannot find iostream" like bruh...
and no... i dont wont to install mvsc

bruh...

...

that make me realized something...
maybe...

maybe its not the clangd that broken...
maybe its my mingw? ...

remember when i said there is multiple ways
to install build tool in windows...

yeah... maybe there is specific
mingw that work with clangd perhaps?

and thats when i found this website...
https://winlibs.com/

bruh... they packaged mingw and clang together...
i didnt know that existed...

anyway i tried that...

and guess what...
it fucking works...

holyshit...
how many hours did i lose...

i know its bit a rush...

there is still lots of placeholder images in Diary...
even the Documents files are totally mess...

but at this point i already changed lots of things...
last time i update the main branch was like... 3 month ago...

the current website also completely different now...

i no longer use gulp to build my js...
resulting some of bugs in my code...
i decided to just comment that out and fix it later...

the same goes to document files...
im just put them at draft mode for now...
this make them unlisted in the page...

and somehow i didnt like the old Me page...
and i just comment all the content and gray out the button...

ohh man... so much todo...
i already spent too much time working on the website this couple days...

im just gonna push it to master branch...
and take a break a moment...

A few days ago my phone got softbrick...
i cant boot the system...
im such a dumb...

this all started when i tried to upgrade magisk...

i always use old magisk because...
its work perfectly on my phone...
one day i tried to upgrade the manager because why not...

inside magisk there are two component...
the manager and the magisk itself...

the one i tried to upgrade is the manager...
after i finish installing the newer version...

the magisk also got newer version available...
ofc i tried to upgrade that too...

but in the middle of the process it got some wierd warning...
and ask me to restart the phone...

soo i did...
but my phone cant boot... it stuck...
yup i guess the process failed somehow?...

anyway its fix now... i tried to flash the phone
and its working again...
luckly no important file are missing...

just for a lesson... dont just upgrade anything lol...
im happy as long as its work...

oh my god...
why didnt learn this much sooner...

i really like grid now...
its soo much easy now to create column and row...

usually i use flex display to do that...
i didnt know grid exist... well i do...
but i just assume grid is similar like table... but no...
its much better...

friendship ended with flex display...
grid is now my new best friend...